| Thursday, October 05, 2006 |
Blog MOVED. Will let you know the new address INDIVIDUALLY.
-Ery.
| Saturday, September 09, 2006 |
For the past month I've been doing nothing but splurging on dining outs, movies, coffee, teas and some other simple pleasures I don't really regret. Been wasting all time away from home and snapping photographs to make myself feel good. Life with a new boyfriend is not exactly all sugar and spice but in fact quite an emotional ordeal. I miss the careless bitching about with friends and the sweetness of just being with my young boy (you know who you are) or self-absorbing myself into a totally other side of the galaxy.
Happiness comes with a lot of responsibilities and it's not exactly the easiest thing on earth, no matter how great the joy flows into you, and I think I'm a commitment phobe, or rather, a free spirit for that matter. I want to live life my own style. Yes, with limits and my own set of regulations, but still, my own style and at my own pace. I wanna be my own girl, love. Are you willing to wait?
I don't know. I am in love with someone but I'm a swinger. And that's difficult. I wanna wander around with people I like without feeling guilty. I wanna mingle with both boys and girls and I can kiss them while they call me baby or sweet or pretty and they put their arms around me and we take pictures and at the end of the day no one guy must get envious or thinking about watching my every move.
Was it just a connection or love as it is? If it is, then it's totally accidental. Unintended.
I wanna no strings attached.
But do I really NOT love you? Or yes I do, and I'm in denial?
I know you love me but sometimes I don't want to love.
| Sunday, September 03, 2006 |
Hi everyone. Sorry for the LONG delay. I know I haven't been posting any entries since the last one but I've been dead busy. Really busy with so many things I could hardly breathe, like seriously.
Take care peeps,
Ery.
This is written for Flint, my love paramour.
I missed Safiyya's and Yazid's birthdays for someone. I can't believe I'd rather skip this two events for some unlikely meet-up. I'm not keen to meet up with him actually, but since he passed a wedding photography shoot to a friend and I'm free on that day, well, am I not obliged to say yes? =) It was Safi's birthday on Sunday and I could actually turn up for that (because it was earlier and my meet-up with him was later than that) until she said something which made me wanna skip the idea. It was a birthday lunch for her organised by Farah and we were supposed to have it in some restaurant @ Marina Sq and we even have got the present ready (which was a $150 spa voucher plus complementaries) and it was sort of a surprise kinda thing, because she doesn't know anything else except Farah being in charge. And when she found out I was going, she said something, "Oh. I didn't know you're invited," with a stupid tone that turned me off. I was like WTF? OF COURSE I'M INVITED, I'VE BEEN YOUR FRIEND FOR 16 YEARS AND YOUR MOM IS MY GODMA YOU FOOL! So I decided to FARK it and go straight to meet him @ GV Plaza to watch The Libertine. He got us nachos and lemon tea.. wee. Haha.
It was a fantastic movie, if you consider the fact that it was by a first-time director. My, it was a brutally enchanting historical piece starring Hollywood god, Johnny Depp and British timeless-faced starlet Samantha Morton and virtuoso actor, John Malkovich as King Charles III. It is a very profound piece of work - about the country's poet and playwright, a hedonist who, only at the last stages of his life, learnt to love life. Quite sad and the scenes from when Depp started to develop an illness until he died, reminded me of his drug crook character in the movie 'Blow' starring himself, Penelope Cruz and Ray Liotta. Overall, The Libertine is damn good and a must watch, but you've got to bear with the old English dialogue. IT was beautiful and sublime, even the sexual content of the film. But it had some dark humour in it, and some really laugh-out-loud funnies and we were laughing out heads off.
Anyway. After the movie, we had dinner @ The Glasshouse Fish & Co. Told him my bro worked there before and I found out he worked there before too. Ha ha. Wtf. Meal was on him. Credit. Oh god. I've phobia going out with guys with credit cards. Seriously. Bad, bad phobia. Then we took a long night walk from there to Citilink - quite a rejuvenating walk. We had a long talk, about his photography and our lives in general. We had to stop occasionally because he has this knee problem due to some accident. I felt bad when I walked too fast. We got tired so we went to The Coffee Connosieur to sit and I ordered this mango soda while he had some coffee stuff.
The conversation we had there changed my life.
For the first time, I am talking to someone who knows EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FUCKING SAY ALL THESE FUCKING YEARS. I DON'T EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN. Someone who KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY AFTER I'VE TOLD EVERYTHING. OMG. It was damn freaky. It was awkwardly weird beyond words. I knew I laughed. A real laugh.
It was Yazid's birthday yesterday. I've already gotten him a gift nicely wrapped in a box with a scratch-and-win kinda greeting card. But I went to meet that someone again after his work instead, because I know he really wants to see me and I know that if I were to meet Yazid, I won't be talking much to him except about his birthday. I tried so hard, but it's difficult to establish a two-way communication with him. So I cancelled my Yazid meeting and I opted for a Swensen's ice cream dinner with my Connosieur instead. This time, I played listener because I talked too much the day before. We went for a long walk again and stayed till late @ the Espalande where I saw two of my lecture mates making out and how their faces changed when they saw me. Haha. Wtf. Carry on lah. I mean, I don't give a shite, except probably an "Oh now I know.." Haha. Anyway he shared a lot of his philopsophies and work stories with me and how he knew Ayin and all. It was uncalled for but much appreciated.
I'm just happy. Now I don't need (and don't want) to search for anything or anyone that understands and views me for who I am COMPLETELY and be receptive about my differences and looniness, anymore. It gives me a very strong reason to not give a fuck about what people think of me
Photos!! TGIF 28 July @ Home Club.
West Grand Boulevard, Valium, Local Bar Boy & Beat!
Local Bar Boys
Valium
Zul & Az
Me & Bro
Bro & I
Us
Me
Yat
Az
Ery
Zul
Don't feel like writing. Just enjoy the pics of not very much.
![LOUIS[e].](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v124/eryski/cutout.jpg)
